Rules For Gym In Joburg

My mate Ricci Cinti sent me a copy of his best mate's training programmes at the gym in Joburg. Jurre, now wonder his mates are such tanks, they follow this amazing training schedule! It is HARD China!

By far the best gym/fitness brand in Cape Town.

My mate Ricci Cinti sent me a copy of his best mate’s training programmes at the gym in Joburg. Jurre, now wonder his mates are such tanks, they follow this amazing training schedule! Ed Hardy peak caps, Diesel jeans, shiny square toes, Piz Buin and GP Plates are just some of the things you can expect to see over December time in the Cape. My mate Steve will also be joining me for a jol or two on the 15th December, but luckily my biceps are bigger than his so we won’t encounter any problems on that note 😉 He does have some big ass lungs though, which might shuffle a few feathers amongst the local boom slangs

ripped dot com

And remember, if you want to compete with these okes for the birds this Summer, you might want a little insight into just how they become so hard. I managed to get an exclusive copy of one of the biffest okes training schedule’s, enjoy boytjies this is some serious stuff 😉 Just a heads up from a true Capetonian, Virgin Active is by far the best gym brand in SA and I highly recommend you use their services. Well you can always choose City Gym, if you want shitty service…And I was not paid to say that either, that is straight from the heart!

Perfect for gym - looking cool at gym that is!

Rules For Gym In Joburg:

Jozi is coming, so you should be as prepared as possible!


1) Join a proper gym, boytjie. Cutting corners here will only weaken your image and if you train at a proper gym, your guns get bigger, faster. Virgin Active / Planet Fitness will do.

2) Get one of your chommies to be your training partner/spotter. It’s better to hunt in pairs my son and chicks are more likely to notice you out if there are two of you.

3) In any training program boy, cross out the leg parts. You can’t hit okes with your thigh’s china!.

4) China, if you see anyone at the squat rack, laugh at him. Does he think he’s going to squat okes in the face?

5) It’s not about what you know in the gym, it’s all about what you wear:

5.1) Wear Puma or Diesel shoes so that you CAN’T run on the treadmill or use the bicycle. Who needs to run? With guns like that, okes will run from you my boy.

5.2) Wear long pants hay, okes might think you have big legs even if you don’t need to use them.

5.3) As your gym starts to show results you can start wearing tops with smaller sleeves. But make sure you don’t wear any sports kit unless it’s a tight vest chom. It’s so you can still get into News Cafe to eat your sushi.

5.4) Wear a hat, those gym lights can be bright. And if other okes can’t see your face properly they’ll think you hard hay boy.

5.5) If you wear gym gloves you can lift 10 kg more. It’s a fact, it’s just like when you hit someone with a knuckle duster, they drop ten times faster ghey.

6) Above all, work your guns and your pectorals extra hard oke. Those are the muscles that will aid you when you get into a rawl.

7) Never be seen lifting light weights with your guns. Cut down your repetitions if you have to.

8) Never do any exercise but weights.

9) Boy, the gym has a matt down for a reason. Drop your weights as loud as you can. Throw them down if you have to, so everyone can hear.

11) Last but not least, by the way no self respecting boy puts the weights back! Ever…

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4 Responses to “Rules For Gym In Joburg” Subscribe

  1. The_Fox December 3, 2010 at 1:57 pm #

    Hahaha, wow that was proper funny boet!
    As a Capetonian living in jozi, this is how i look at it:- The girls that dig the most ripped tanks are not really who you should even consider, I mean do you really want to be with a lady that cant spell potato?! They are only interested in playboys and ripped Gino’s for the image. they probably just grunt and sweat all night, no decent conversation, no chance of “hey, lets talk through this”, its more like “jussis, properly upped my weight by 20 babe, gonna be style..ing the beach this summer”. you see these people all over, and they are mostly likely from the south/ over travel to the South for H2O. So enjoy being muscled out of every bar, risking a serious beat down cos the gorilla thinks you “checked” his chick out (which im sure will result in a little pushing and the capetonain. If anyone from Jozi reads this all i have to say is; respect the Cape, respect the beach, respect the people,you are the tourist, and ofcourse get hammered properly.

    • Mr. Cape Town December 3, 2010 at 1:59 pm #

      couldn’t have said it better myself!

      come jol soon Kev!!!

  2. Sharon James January 1, 2011 at 5:39 am #

    short and to the point, nice!

    Quite a lag too I might add. haha

    • Mr. Cape Town January 4, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

      shot. lets just say they are a different breed 😉

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